The FaceOmeter Web Log

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Epigraphs

I want to share two little quotations from Jerome K. Jerome's Novel Notes (1893) with you. He really was a wonderful writer, mixing an enormous amount of idle banter (Novel Notes consists of almost literally nothing other than idle banter) with these extraordinarily pithy little moments. How serious he is about any of them is up for discussion, but I think that just makes it better (cf. Wilde, The Decay of Lying et. al) - naturally, their effect is diminished considerably by giving them to you in isolation from the rest of the book, which I strongly recommend reading, but I think it worth the risk. Here's the first one:

"For, when you are very, very young you dream that the summer is all sunny days and moonlight nights, that the wind blows always softly from the west, and that roses will thrive anywhere. But, as you grow older, you grow tired of waiting for the gray sky to break. So you close the door and come in, and crouch over the fire, wondering why the winds blow ever from the east: and you have given up trying to rear roses" (90)

I find this especially useful when allied with a much shorter thought he has a bit later on:

"The streets of life are very crowded, and if we lose each other's hands we are soon hustled far apart" (108)

A little something to think about, perhaps.

Posted at 1:55 pm by faceometer
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Monday, February 08, 2010

Keeping it Pantis

More things have continued to happen to me, in my life, since the last time I wrote on here. How unusual. I've gone shopping, for instance. Then there was the great Pantis disaster of Sunday (yesterday), when I needed to purchase some Pantis as a matter of great urgency. I played the EOCC with a chap who really, really wants cannabis legalised, and bumped into the sister of an old friend of mine. My room smells of girls and Zelda: Spirit Tracks is a good laugh but not in the same league as its predecessor Phantom Hourglass. Meanwhile, my Dad rocked the Sheldonian in a wonderful way, and the Russians, by the way, are in a field of their own when it comes to orchestral music.

Of more significance, I am happy to announce my place on what I consider to be the greatest bill of all fucking time - check this out:

SAM TAPLIN
ED POPE
MATT SAGE
and ME

All of this is in the Half Moon, St. Clement's, a pub so intimate that if you come along there is an 8% chance that you will have sex with one of the four people named above. It's happening courtesy of the wonderful James Bell and the Oxford Folk Festival Fringe on the afternoon of Saturday March 18th. Don't miss it!

Posted at 11:26 am by faceometer
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Friday, February 05, 2010

The Quickest of Ones

Little from me in blogland lately owing, at least in theory, to a monolithic and rather nasty piece of writing I'm handing in today in connection with my degree. I'll try and post something of substance soon, but for now a bullet point list of recent happenings in line with the good old aide-memoire traditions:
  • Many lovely dinners in Hackney, complete with the Swindler's latest invention: a tea-chest bass.
  • Learning to like the BL, although not its silly induction day.
  • Getting very excited about the Darwin Centre, to the chagrin of those accompanying me.
  • Several pleasing moments in two of Jericho's nicer pubs.
  • Discovering that the KCL History department has an unbelievable secret study zone where you can HAVE TEA AT YOUR DESK *&%$(*&%
  • Reflecting on the fact that the previous point is the level of excitement I seem to deal in these days.
  • A nice post-catweazle circle consisting of Alan B., Ed P., Roxy, Ira, Natalie and myself.
  • Significantly increased frostiness in my relations with TFL
  • General happiness with the new song (lyrics forthcoming)
More soon.

Posted at 9:47 am by faceometer
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Monday, January 25, 2010

Feeling a bit groggy now

I'm late into the library because I got Taken By The Songwriting at midnight last night and stayed up till 3 this morning hammering out a tune which I'm calling 'OK, so that happened'. I'm really excited about it, but the lyrics need stewing time before I post them on here.

It's interesting what can happen in three hours after weeks of dead ends and writer's block. "Three hours" doesn't quite convey the process of course - anyone who's ever done any one thing for three hours knows that it's longer than it sounds - but I wonder how much work is really done in that time, and how much this muse-attack-seredipity-moment depended on seeing Dear Landlord and Brimstone Moth at the cellar with banofffee digestives, or having Russian soup with another man called Will (Joe), or stock-checking the 'Rehabilitation' section at work, or whatever else. The problem with only being able to write when the stars are in alignment is that it's so hard to tell when the stars are in alignment... but enough of this drivel, time for work. I'll post the lyrics tomorrow if I don't hate the tune by then.

Posted at 9:26 am by faceometer
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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Sock Time

I don't think I've ever mentioned my formidable array of socks on this blog before. Clothes I give not a fig (leaf?) for, but every christmas my fabulous stepmother gets me some stupendous socks, and every year she escalates. Frankly I'm not sure what she's going to do next year, because Christmas 2009 saw me possessed of some of the most giddying things I have ever placed my feet inside. I would post a photograph, but frankly I don't think a normal computer screen can deal with these things. People feel queasy and need to sit down after I pass them in the street. It's fabulous.

I mention this so that you can understand my pleasure that a former colleague of mine has moved into the sock industry. Marko John's is a reputable British firm, so I am informed, with a small but select range of handcrafted finery. I am happy to report that Marko John is every bit the gentleman you would expect the purveyor of these gentleman's socks to be. I have yet to sample a pair (they're on order) but I feel it would be foolish of me not to give you a link to the website right now and give you a chance to be part of this sensation before it dominates the world.

I'm in the Bodleian doing very little work. You wonder why.

Posted at 10:46 am by faceometer
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Monday, January 18, 2010

Young Explorer

Well everyone, this reminds me of the good old Hoopern Street days where I'd go offline for a bit and then triumphantly return to report on the latest visit of the Jones. I swear I've said that before somewhere...

I was returning to Oxford from a lunch in Birmingham (!) on Saturday when I recieved a text from the Dapperest of them all. "I'm on Folly Bridge", he said. "Where are you?" I immediately went into a large signal blackout area. But it all worked out well and there ensued just over twenty-four hours of brilliant things, including but not limited to a meander with oaty g&ds, tea with a selection of people who didn't know each other, strolling with a pet dragster, max meeting his dad (who was a year younger than him), a spontaneous open mic performance (our guitars are brilliant), a storytelling session with a Russian emphasis, the tightest game of Othello I've ever played, the chefs of the athaeneum and some trousers from a shop everybody hated.

The Jones has pissed off again now, but as ever he leaves behind an aura of indefinable warmth and a certain reluctance to return to work. He got OTFSBW on this trip as well*, as did I on my last voyage to London, so despite the shit that gnaws around the edges of my life I have confidence we're more or less on track.

* Oxford Tube, Front Seat, Both Ways

Posted at 10:35 am by faceometer
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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Return from the Isolation

It turned out that the title of my last post was more prescient than I could have imagined! Those of you who remember Reginald De Winter from last year's Birmingham snow fest will be happy to see evidence of his successor, William Ewart Gladsnow.



This is outside the Gladstone Library, also known as St. Deiniol's, in the Welsh village of Hawarden. I was sequestered there for a week doing useless academic-y things, but having been snowed in there it would have been foolish to miss the opportunty to create Gladstone's snow counterpart beneath his statue in the full view of passers-by:



But this tale has not the happy ending. When we went in for dinner, some passers by (possibly descendants of Disraeli) vaulted the gate (the impressions in the snow were quite unmistakable) and demolished Gladsnow! He was with us scarce two hours, but will live on always in our hearts.

Thanks to Paul Craddock for the pictures!

Edit: It would be totally self-indulgent for me to mention that FaceOmeter was recently mentioned on MTV, so I'm not going to.

Posted at 10:47 pm by faceometer
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Monday, January 04, 2010

Gladstone: 17 Chill Points

Happy New Year! I write from Gladstone's library in Wales, which I'll tell you all about when I get back. I'm on a weird research retreat thingy which you can follow the academic side of on my other blog. Internet is very iffy so I won't be posting here for at least a week! Suffice to say so far that 2010 is onnnnnnnnnnn

Posted at 10:11 pm by faceometer
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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Yet Another Year Remembered

Well, so, it's the end of another year. And in what is rapidly becoming a tradition, I have self-indulgent little allusions to make as to the preceding twelvemonth.

This year I've moved cities again, made some new friends and lost one. I almost suceeded in not supporting Pete Doherty's friend (I think that's the best sentence ever written). I had a chat about Philip Larkin. Woke up in a village. Discovered some other villages. Went crabbing. Visited a living museum, a theme park and an aquarium. Met a stork, a bear and a monkey horse. Became over-excited in a seminar. Watched some important trilogies. Fixed the peug myself. Shown people round my home town. Got front row top seats on the Oxford Tube both ways in one day. Played a show on a picnic table, one in a chapel and one in my own living room. Slept with a stuffed tiger and a punk-rock frontman from Preston in the almost sure knowledge of our imminent demise. Made a snowman and a robot. Cycled around one town and walked around another one. I've been both a daddy long-legs and cameraman at a fry-up in the New Forest. And I've done a donut in the parking yacht.

I've been given lavender, a short story, and a false moustache. I've stood on a bridge, waved at a train, walked a canal, used a bike light for stage lighting, cried in a cinema, fed some ducks, alphabetised the entire horses section, attended two graduations, discovered some radio shows, eaten spiced nuts, reclaimed a desk in a castle, learned to portmanteau, released my first album, forgot a mobile phone charger, looked more at the moon, and seen four of Jupiter's with my own eyes for the first time.

It's been quite a time. I'm in a vastly better place than at the end of 2008. I wouldn't be there, or close, without my parents and my beautiful friends new and old - but I've also learned this year that one's own resolve really can make dreams come true. There have been dark, horrendous moments, but I think that either through increased maturity or sheer practice I'm getting a bit better - just a bit - at handling them, and that's what I really want to take away from these months: that I can improve as a person, and will keep trying to.

Some things won't change, that said. The Peug is still here, and long may it remain. I still write the odd song, occasionally. We still play a little too much Mario Kart DS. And I'm still D.R.E., of course. Are you?

Here's to 2010.

==
Not necessarily the best things of this year, but the things that are most "this year" about this year-

Books:
'The Age of Wonder' Richard Holmes
'Dracula' Bram Stoker
'Archy and Mehitabel' Don Marquis
'Anticipations' H. G. Wells
'Science Fiction by Gaslight' ed. Sam Moskowitz

Albums:
'Alice' Tom Waits
'Em Are I' Jeff Lewis & the Jitters
'Signal to Noise' Brer Brian
'The Duckworth Lewis Method' The Duckworth Lewis Method
'Roxanne: Theearlyyears' Roxanne: Theearlyyears

Songs:
'Meaningless Words' Ray Rumours
'True Player for Real' MC Lars
'Righteous Badass' Jesse Dangerously
'Passing Trains' The World is Not Flat
'A Fork in the Road' Sam Taplin

Posted at 11:17 pm by faceometer
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Why do English?

I started to write this on my Academic Blog, but it isn't really at home there - that's more for stuff which is specifically connected to my current project within the field of Literature-Science-Medicine, material texts, periodicals, the nineteenth century, science fiction, and whatever else it is that I study (I've had four days off, so I forget).

Therefore I'm putting it here instead. It's long, but I have very carefully made it as user-friendly as possible, because it's an answer to a question I sometimes get asked or, more often, pointedly not asked. It has nothing to do with music or FaceOmeter, so you may be uninterested. On the other hand, it kind of has everything to do with music and FaceOmeter, so you may be interested. Above all, I'd love you to read this if you have ever asked me, yourself, or anyone else, the question it sets out upon.

The question is, of course, 'why do you study Literature?'

For indiscriminate weak-minded arty types, this is a no-brainer. English is the esoteric humanities subject du jour. Marking is subjective and wooly, bullshitting is far easier than with the more empirical subjects, there are no 'right' answers and the 'work' simply consists of reading 'lots of books' (we hear this phrase a lot). This is all great news if you are the sort of person who is amenable to a more relaxed lifestyle - as an undergraduate I shared my six working hours per week (per week) with a vast number of people who wanted a degree and a large number of cheap drinks with a minimum of fuss. English answers well.

Of course, there are disadvantages. After your large investment of both time and money, you have no measurably improved skills. You can't save anyone's life, explain the mathematics of a black hole, or make a cool million in the City. You're less in touch with popularly-read literature than most people, and though you're better with the canon there are still really popular books which everyone will assume you've read, and which you haven't (Middlemarch is mine). You probably can't even recommend any decent books for your friend's mum's birthday present - Literature is the one thing you know about, and you know too much about it to be of any use to a layperson.


G. H. Lewes - one man, one moustache

So you're as employable as a school-leaver and you're in debt to the tune of, gosh, whatever it is these days*. What do you have? Are there any advantages? G. H. Lewes, back in the nineteenth century, suggested that literary study could be usefully compared to vivisection - cutting up animals to see how they work. This was an attempt to convince the scientific community that there needn't necessarily be a fundamental divide between them and the humanities, and you can judge for yourself how successful his argument was. But in essence he was simply saying that if you break down a poem (say) to its constituent parts, you're basically understanding how language can work, and there's profit in that.

And he might be right - but, as you've guessed, there are some holes in this one. GCSE students are taught to break poems down into their constituent parts and see how they can work. Not only can we assume that they get the point, but in my anecdotal experience most of them hate it. Oh, so he's using rhyme there? And this is a run-on line? Caesura? Really? Bite me.

Even within English, the vivisection idea has lost a lot of support in the last century or so. It's too clinical - and 'clinical' is opposed to artistic sensitivity. Vivisectors, after all, tend to destroy the organism they are vivisecting. By demystifying the workings of a poem, you rob your audience forever of their ability to be mystified by it - which is surely one of the goals of literary art...


Vivisection remains unpopular

Let's put it another way. When someone tells you a joke, you laugh. When they explain why the joke was funny ("you see, 'fungi', the plural of 'fungus', sounds a bit like 'fun guy', you know, a guy who is fun...") you stop laughing, and probably exit the room at a fairly high speed. The perception that we're a bunch of people who sit around explaining why the joke was funny has far from left everyone.

If it's true that decent art needs no mediation (we're making some pretty hefty generalisations here, but whatever, let's run with it) then what the hell do we do? More importantly, what the hell are we for? Why is society training thousands upon thousands of (mostly) Bright Young People in the art of going 'ohhh, daffodils, lovely'? Even if there are significant personal rewards in learning to appreciate a great piece of writing, what is the cultural benefit to having a major discipline working away in this area?

A potential answer lies in politics. The various schools of literary theory - which is a posh way of saying 'different ideas about how books should be read' - tend to designate themselves by reading new and old texts in the light of their political convictions. Thus, there is a Marxist way of reading Dickens (see how oppressed all those proletarians are?) as well as an elite, humanist way (consider the simple beauty of this description, and how much closer that takes us to God). There are almost endless others, but you may be worrying that this is a pretty obscure way of practicing politics, and you'd be right to do so. Imagine if Marx himself had just sat around thinking about Martin Chuzzlewit all day. No communist manifesto for us - just another book about a book that no-one is going to read.


Charles Dickens - or "Chickens" to his friends - had nothing whatsoever to do wtih communism

And because the only people reading these books about books are the people who write them, we've now got to the stage where there are books about the books about the books. You see the problem immediately, of course. The original books - the ones that started the whole thing off - go whole chapters without being mentioned. Even if this is making a political point, who is being addressed, and how does that help?

This is what's at the back of the perception that English is 'irrelevant'; interested only in itself. For those of you who are nodding right now - don't worry. The government agrees with you. Every year, less and less money is assigned to the study of Literature in universities and schools. Graduates are speedily snapped up by PR or consultancy firms interested in personable, cheap employees who have more than two brain cells - or they re-train as lawyers or teachers. The few who pursue the subject further (idiots) will be met at every step by the pressures of funding, and at the end of a doctoral qualification (that's seven years in higher ed) can be very happy on a salary of £24,000 - if they get a job at all (there are far more qualified people than academic jobs in the UK at the moment).

Whilst this is all quite sad for someone like me, we've seen a lot of evidence here that it's far from an indefensible way of doing things. If I just want to lark around with books all day, or spend my time throwing my political inclinations into the void, why should I expect sympathetic treatment? Why is it worth funding an effort to understand these sorts of issues? Why, in fact, do we study English?

Let's up the stakes, and ask a bigger question. Can English save the world?


We all live here

Of course it can't, right? We've seen here that it can barely save itself. And as a reader of overwhelming intelligence, I'm sure you noticed the single biggest flaw in literary theory's approach when I outlined it just now. These totally different ideas are coming out of the same sources. A Marxist theorist who reads a given book is probably going to find something Marxist to say about it. How surprising! In science this practice - ignoring data that doesn't support your argument - is called 'cherry picking' and it's reprehensible. In English, it's one of the key tools of the trade. How can we advance or change political thinking with a discipline that is this open ended, that has re-interpretability engraved so deeply on its heart? When any political point made by any English academic can almost invariably be gainsaid by any other academic who holds a contrary opinion - in short, when there is no right answer - how can a discipline ever move forward, save itself from drowning in its own internal discussions, convince the outside world that it has something worthwhile to say, that two hundred years of study have not been for nothing?

Here's my answer - and it's only mine, mark you: by making this exact point. Literary study, like nothing else, proves to us that the different ways people read affect the ways they perceive. When you read a book, a lot is going on - your own unique preconceptions are being mixed with those of its author; the preoccupations of both the society that spawned the author and the society that spawned you are wrestling with each other; your conscious opinions are being pushed around by issues as major as your core politics and as minor as the size of the book and the picture on its cover. All this is happening, and most of it you aren't even noticing. Language is an imperfect tool for communication, and people are reading the same words and coming to very different conclusions all the time. Nothing demonstrates this better than a quick trip through the history of criticism.

Why is all this important? Because English teaches us one other big truth - not only are people's perceptions affected by reading, but they are materially affected by reading. The line between truth and fiction is thinner than you assume - Sherlock Holmes is more real to most people than your Dad is, because they will never meet your Dad. He's just some guy. Holmes was the great detective, who they can see in any of fifty-six short stories and four novels any time they want, to say nothing of the countless unofficial books, the TV shows and films, the graphic novels and comics, the spin-off history books, annotated guides, kids versions, internet fan fiction, video games and - the biggest one of all - the untraceable panoply of tiny references to him, huge numbers of them unconscious, which have, since his appearance in 1887, edged their way into every conceivable kind of publication. It means absolutely nothing that the guy was made up by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - everyone knows that. But he's real anyway. Ask anyone "who lived at 221B Baker Street?" and the answer will not be "I don't know, but that's the address where Doyle set his fictitious detective stories". The answer will be "Sherlock Holmes".

Holmes is an extreme example, because he's become almost an archetype - interpreted and re-interpreted by hundreds of different pens and millions of different minds in almost every way you can imagine. He was never real, but his legacy has been real - real people have spent real time reading about him, thinking about him, talking about him. Some are very strange, and go to themed dinner parties and affect Victorian accents. But even you, who are not one of those people, are familiar with the phrase "elementary, my dear Watson" - and the nerdier amongst you will know that Holmes never actually says these words in the original stories; that Holmes has grown as a cultural idea beyond Doyle's original vision; that - and here's the important thing - the way people think about Holmes has changed him. Crucially, it has changed us too. Holmes has become a metaphor we all live by. In tiny ways, most of us never thinking about it. But nevertheless.


If I could be within a billion miles of 1% as cool as this guy-

If I had to sum up the last few paragraphs - the really crucial section of this little discussion - I'd do it with the phrase "shit is real". Stuff people invent keeps being invented, by all of us. Then it invents us right back. Culture, and society, are constantly changing, pulled in a million different directions by uncountable and often undetectable influences. It's the artistic equivalent of the placebo effect, and it's just as interesting. Only an idiot has failed to realise by now that we're not just talking about books any more - that people 'read' television, film, newsprint, conversation, their own thought processes themselves just the same. Literary study starts with books, but there's no way it ends there.

The main conceit of Terry Pratchett's excellent Discworld series is that the characters inhabit a fantasy land which is governed entirely by what people believe. His equivalent of Santa Claus is literally real to the other characters, but if enough of them stop believing in him, he will cease to be (this example is from the book Hogfather, which is one of Pratchett's best). Discworld is also constructed as a 'mirror' of our world, and the comparison is even closer than it looks. Enough of us 'believe in' Sherlock Holmes that he really does exist, as I hope I've persuaded you. He isn't a real guy walking around - he has achieved far, far more than one guy walking around ever could precisely because he exists not as a person but as something more powerful: as a metaphor.


The turtle is called Great A'Tuin, if you're interested

We live on metaphors. Demonstrating their power is the true potential of literary study. Unconvinced? Think for a second about global warming. Here we have an issue on which there was a scientific consensus in 1989. Just last week, 17 years after the leaders of the world sat down in Rio de Janiero and decided that something really should be done about it, the leaders of the world sat down in Copenhagen and decided that... something really should be done about it. Science has explained to people that global warming is materially real, but because there are huge swathes of us for whom it is not yet a cultural/metaphorical reality - because, in fact, of a dizzying number of different metaphorical tensions which I won't further extend this essay by enumerating - it is still very hard to get anything done about it. In other words, you're going to need people who understand cultural theory working on global warming too, and literature students are as good at this as anybody else. A lot of them are already working in this field but, of course, everyone is ignoring them.



Oh well, better luck next time eh? Oh wait, we'll all be dead

Some quick disclaimers to the above paragraph: I am not proposing literature as an alternative to science, technology or political action when combating the vast ecological crisis that hangs inevitably over us. COP15 didn't fail because there were no literature professors there. Moreover, Science is not an enemy here - it is not an enemy of literature anywhere, and people who treat it as one are idiots. They are the most to blame, in fact, because it is this fragmentation of disciplines, this isolation of the different kinds of knowledge, which gave rise to the kind of society which could ignore the scientific evidence on global warming for twenty years and counting. English cannot solve this problem. It can, however, provide learning and understanding of the way people work which will be, I think, essential in any effort to do so.

This is just one example. It's a mighty big one, but there are numerous others; things which are separately both scientific and cultural products. A colleague of mine at King's is working on the social construction of HIV/AIDS - if the majority of people believe something about a virus, then that belief has power, regardless of whether it's true or not. My own project is about how early science fiction played its part in kick-starting these perceptions of difference (which actuate themselves, of course, into real differences, as you now understand). In fact, there are a growing number of us working in fields like this one, in the hope, and with the intention, that this will eventually trickle into the mainstream - that English in schools might become less about "how does this poem work?" and more about "how does this poem work us?". If we can make critical readers out of everyone, I really do believe that the world will get better.


I hope you all noticed how I used Holmes instead of God as my big metaphor example

Richard Dawkins's answer to the question 'can Science explain everything?' was 'we're working on it'. Can English save the world? We're working on it. There aren't as many of us, we don't have any money, we are dogged by unpleasant or unhelpful ways of thinking, ruptured by preposterous internal disputes and considered irrelevant by nearly everyone, including by many of our own. In short, we are the 'good guys' in one of those underdog American sporting movies. There is every reason for us not to succeed, but I will not believe that we can't.

Can English save the world? We can certainly help. And we're working on it.

*something in the low zillions, I believe

Posted at 8:47 pm by faceometer
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