The FaceOmeter Web Log

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Activate Sonic Shower

Its the tendancy of blogs these days, in my circles at least to update less frequently. Now why is this? Is it because my life is getting less interesting, I am getting less interested in my life, YOU are getting less interested in my life, blogging is going out of fashion, fashion is going out of blogging... who knows? ALl that can be known is that I too am updating increasingly less frequently. But I reject absolutely any assertion that this journal is on some kind of slippery slope. Here at FaceOmeter we've been updating this site and its predecessor for over a year and a half and we have NO intention of stopping - I don't believe the wind-down has effected the overall quality of posts so much as removed the percieved nessecity of "for the sake of it ones". So, that was worth saying.

Anyway since we're being all "serious", "no one will comment on this entry" tonight... FaceOmeter updates! I'm interested in plugging in some electric guitars after the recent spate of songwriting that resulted in 'Third Single' and 'The Other One I Haven't Named Yet'. I feel a bit 'acoustic anthem'd out' so whilst I have an idea for a Jeff Lewis-y narrative song about radiohead (more introspective than factual but ill keep said idea under my hat for now) and have an interest in writing some "softer shit" more along the lines of 'Everybody's Alright', I'm gonna get the tele out tomorrow and see what happens. And in the spirit of the posts I no longer tend to make, tomorrow's tasks also include reading, housesitting for parkes, and sorting out the internet for the new house. WOOT.

Posted at 2:14 am by faceometer
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Thursday, September 01, 2005

omgzor

Many of you will (not) have been wondering why I haven't posted for a few days. THIS IS WHY



Anton Beauxleigh is a man with a plan! That plan is to dye ALL his armour ginger. but ginger dye is expensive so for now he must be content only with his shirt! HE IS AN ELEMENTALIST MONK, which means he has TEH MAGICS and TEH HEALING. He is currently level 8 but I plan to have him on 9 before the evening is out!



here we see that he has a lighter side as he dances in celebration of a mission well completed with a temporary team-mate NECROMANCER. the duo completed the mission after being abandoned by the other two guys by running away from loads of Charr very very quickly! Ownzor'd!


he also has a sweeter side. here we see him flirting with guildmate Billie. She's a bit of alright! She's also Ruari of course.

RUARI

Posted at 1:41 am by faceometer
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Saturday, August 27, 2005

KHAAAAN!

Good morrow chums, and so it seems I'm back in England, home of the free. Or not?! OOH POLITICAL. But lets get back to buisness - I've come back, watched some star trek and had a ten hour makeout session with hot babes (yeah right).. it's time to get BIZ-EH! Here are the agendas for the upcoming months:

Website:
New MP3 page with integrated Player
Updated Gigs page to include canadian open mics
Blog highlights page (to combat unsearchable archives)
?Build skip a proper site and thing

Songwriting:
Record more demo tracks
Jam with the jones and skipper whilst the opportunities are fresshhh

Ten Hour Makeout Sessions with hot babes:
Or not?!

I'm certainly looking forward to all of these developments. I hope you are too. Stay fresshhh

Posted at 11:17 am by faceometer
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Blogwars 37: The Revenge of the Skipper

This rebuttal to skipper's last comes a trifle late, because I have been exploring the wilds of interior BC in a lincoln town car that went far but not too far because of it's small mile-to-the-gallon number or whatever it is that governs these things. Up north of Whistler a wizard stopped us in our tracks, said he could give us all we wanted if we cleaned up all our acts. Said that Everyone Loves Raymond had a show after it aired where it was analysed by fundamentalists who only cared for trite religious sentiment which he said was not the point, said Romano tells his jokes for many reasons but prolly not to annoint some kind of gross moral ideal, or at least's the way he spoke - but then he added "still it's fair play cos it's not like they're good jokes, I mean if you happen to be of italian origin living in new york then it's probably fairly funny but honey, good comedy talks not just from the heart but also the bile duct, a mixture of the two - and whilst it has good ratings, i don't see it there. do you?"

Peturbéd much by's talkings, I answered boldly "Yes. Why should we sit around to watch TV and feel depressed? Because that's all you ever do these days with violence and adverts getting in the way and it seems to me it's the way it goes that star trek's taught me more about ethics than plato but you should give us a chance man, you really should, because out of all our native chaos can come something good - i mean, it doesn't happen often; we fuck up, we make mistakes, but sometimes we get through them and build us something great. And im not saying its paradise but don't go giving us your powers, cos these may be weird lives we live but, whatever you say, they're ours"

Posted at 8:41 am by faceometer
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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

you! bring me the wall street journal. you two! fight to the death

quick update to give you some open micage. this one was at Bean Around The World in Deep Cove and I played

'Hazy Recollection (Local Election)', 'Apparently there's a Quasar in Torquay', 'Californian Styled'

It was rubbish! Nice venue though. I'd totally have done the waitress! I'm kidding of course. OR AM I? Oh, then I came home and watched SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW.

That was an amazing film. See it if you haven't. I'd totally have done angelina jolie! I'm kidding of course.

Posted at 9:05 am by faceometer
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Monday, August 15, 2005

Sweet Home... Birmingham?!

The Raven again for more opened microphone. THE SET WAS:

'Third Single', 'It's like being Behind Enemy Lines', 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air'

Massive thanks to Kevin and Erin and their band for backing me up on the fresh prince and 'Californian Styled' last week as well, those guys sure do know how to rock! Seriously they were fantastic and caught on to my (admittedly very simple) melodies in no time at all. Peace and love to you both.

I also made a li'l CD which shifted a couple of copies at the event: it was called "If Esperanza gets to a country with no extradition charges..." and because I can't get at the main site yet I'll leave the tracklist here in case you happened to get one of the ones I couldn't be bothered to write it on:

1. Lauren (Demo)
2. Everybody's Alright
3. Californian Styled

The first two, of course, featuring Max Jones. The man, the legend.

OK all this obviously be on the main site later so i'll leave you with a priceless shot of me relishing the final moments of "all good things", the greatest TNG episode ever. Props to vinoir for that one!


Posted at 8:59 am by faceometer
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Thursday, August 11, 2005

This is the sweet sound of me trying to watch mutant x on an american tv channel

(tape begins 19h06)
woman: my genetic powers have enhanced my perky little tits that are just squeeeeezing out of this top
man: fascinating
me: shouldn't there be a plot here?
woman: so anyway i'm a complicated, emotional person
man: i have lightning in my hands <<zzzt>>
woman: that was remarkably unconvincing
me: <<munching sounds, as of a million oreos>>
older man (but not old enough to be convincing as a dr x ripoff): you have a mission and it is blah blah blah
man: we're on it
me: a plant? thats totally bollocks
the tv: this car is good. no, really. buy the fucking car. buy the car.
me: no!
the tv: YES! it has many colours, and will fulfill you in many ways
me: jesus
man: well, here we are in a warehouse
evil, unconvincingly haired baddie: a warehouse... OF DEATH!!
me: <<faux excitement>> oh no!! <<crunch crunch>>
<<exciting music, slightly badly produced>>
me: this is the worst fight scene i've EVER seen. EVER.
man: justice has been dispensed! what am i saying, this show would never have a line that good
woman: do you ever feel like that film, x-men? because-
man: QUIET
soldier who they rescued: i am eternally bitter that I am not arnie
me: ah, but you do have unconvincing mutant powers!
woman who looks suspiciously similar to the other woman: you are our new best friends!!
woman: thanks!!!
me: ...et spiritus sancti...
the tv: you know, when your child starts shitting by itself, you're gonna need these
me: la la la la
the tv: CATCH THE MEGA SUPER DUPER BOWL TONIGHT IT'S AMAZING AND WILL FULFILL YOU
older guy again: you can walk through walls... go steal stuff!
another man: are you going to explain how the clothes i'm wearing can go through the wall with me but the case i'm carrying can't?
older man: nope!
me: <<snorting, as cocaine off a cheerleader's cute li'l belly>>
that soldier again: zey have now kidnapped me. whatever to do?
me: WHAT I ASK YOU?
woman: how about we rescue him? hang on, let me change into a slightly tighter top
old man: yeah go and do that, i'll sit here being a scientist
the other man: you're a scientist? wow that's totally unconvincing
me: godammit if i don't see some fighting or some nudity soon there's gonna be trouble
the tv: what haven't i advertised yet...?
me: oh, give it a rest. go fuck yourself.
the tv: ah yes! crisps! or chips as I will annoyingly call them! CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS
me: i'm on sweet things! don't do this to me
baddie: ah so you have me at gunpoint, soldier-guy
soldier: it would seem that way. i could kill you and end the series now
me: <<ears prick up>>
woman: don't do it! you have a new team now! us!
soldier: fair point!
me: ohmy. god. ohmygod.
old man: welcome back, guys
me: WAIT WAIT how did you get away from the baddie you let go?! did you just walk out? he had men pointing guns at you? WHAT?
old man: ...and all's well that ends well
me: WHAT? no, WHAT?
the tv: coming up next... CSI Miami!
me: that SUCKED...! ...CSI miami you say?
the tv:
me: alright i'll stay another hour. but you'd better not advertise that fucking swiffer again
the tv: SWIFFER! YEAH! I SING A SONG! AND THEN YOU BUY IT! BUY IT! SWIFFER! YES!
me: heaven preserve us. no, don't. what would future generations think?
(tape ends at 20h01)

Posted at 11:20 pm by faceometer
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Monday, August 08, 2005

umm i can't think of a title because there's an ad banner of a woman crouched in the "please do me doggy style" position on it. it's really, really, excessive. and it's advertising screensavers. i can't think properly.

Let no-one accuse me of not representing at the opened microphones. Today's effort was at The Raven in Deep Cove, and, apart from a few "pickup falling off" issues, went palatably. Here's what the crowd got to enjoy:

'Hazy Recollection (Local Election)', 'Leaf Fall Timetable', 'Californian Styled'

I'm staying as you may have noticed with 'safe' songs out here in Kanadee, but I'm heading back to this place next week to check out some of the more controversial numbers. Work is progressing on 'Third Single', 'The ocean is not a dry featureless mass', and four other thus far untitled songs.

In other news, I've been watching 'cleavage central' aka. CSI Miami. The cleavages really were a problem in that episode. Some of the men had them there were so many. Horatio didn't though. Because he's Horatio. HORATIO.



Yeah as I was saying that southern girl who's there managed to catch a shooter on the basis of her cleavage (versus the cleavages of several other young ladies). Whilst mocking them for being condemned or otherwise by their exposed melons she managed to wear a top that was cut almost as low. And they were barmaids. YES TO BRUCKHEIMER. Seriously*, if that man ran for president I'd vote for him.

Unless Goren was running as well.

GOREN btw



ahh look at him. it's been too long since i did that.

*ie. "Not at all seriously" 

Posted at 7:55 am by faceometer
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Friday, August 05, 2005

Compulsory Representation

Okay another Vancouver Open Mic, this time in Cafe Deux Soleils. I managed to be literally last out of the hat for this one (typical) and so got onto stage at about midnight, and of course by then lots of people had lost interest so I was a bit of a wind-down. Also some fairly discourteous types (whose frankly awful sets I had politely sat through earlier) decided to heckle me. Which was quite cool actually cos I've never been heckled before.

Here's what we got:

'Poets in Towers', 'Hazy Recollection (Local Election)'

I was going to do a stage debut of 'Third Single' but frankly the crowd didn't deserve it (I jest I jest). Though one guy did offer me a grammy immediately after I came offstage so even by the standards of my bad shows it could be worse. I accepted the grammy, by the way, and I plan to fully enter the celebrity world by screwing someone with it. This will be harder than with a more naturally phallic shaped object like an oscar but I guess that's the price you pay for being second best! Or rather, the price she pays. Well, who said anything about a she? We'll see where the mood takes me I guess.

I'm not gay by the way.

(Canadian Pacific)

Posted at 8:45 am by faceometer
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

some views aren't worth it

played a delightful if sparsely populated open mic on granville island - my first gig abroad! the excitement was almost palpable and so impressed were the crowd that they put up a solid gold effigy of me outside the venue.

here's what was played (can't access regular gigs page until I return):
'Leaf Fall Timetable', 'Everybody's Alright', 'Californian Styled', 'Hazy Recollection (Local Election)', 'Endurance 3 Wit 7'

Over here everyone is being extra careful about forest fires due to the extreme heat, which has thwarted my plans to go to the North BC Flamethrower Fiesta. The whole thing has had to be cancelled, which is bad news for flamethrower lovers everywhere. It means I spent $300 getting my own custom flamer over the border for nought as well, so obviously things aren't going well. Hopefully, however, the Outdoor Wok Burner Appreciation Society's 45th anniversary forest hike is still on schedule so the trip won't be completely wasted. I'll keep you posted.

Peace.

(Canadian Pacific Time is minus eight hours)

Posted at 8:15 am by faceometer
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    About the Web Log:Martians & Wagons

    Welcome, web-traveller, to this sometimes-updated journal. It contains various accounts of the FaceOmeter adventure, as well as miscellaneous other spew from the man its centre.

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