Finally seperated myself from the warm embrace of Wilkie Collins' The Woman in White (a ripping yarn!) and rushed to Wikipedia, where I'd been feary of treading due to spoilz. Imagine my horror when I discovered that the tale had been turned into a musical by ANDREW "FUCK!" LLOYD WEBBER

At 500+ pages of Penguin Popular Classic, we're dealing with a tome which it would be hefty work to adapt to 'real' theatre (ooooh ouch), though I'm sure it could be done if the right person was in charge. But melodramatic though the book is, I really don't think its spirit is captured by songs with titles like "I Hope you Like it Here", "I Believe My Heart" and "If I Could Only Dream This World Away"

I might be wrong, I concede - I haven't actually heard these songs - but it's Lloyd Webber. Who wants to bet?